Jokes

🐄

person 1   look   a flock of cows
person 2   herd of cows
person 1   of course i have heard of cows   there is a flock of them right there

why dont skeletons fight each other they dont have the guts

cowboy   walks into hotel
bellboy   asks how many sheets do you want on your bed
cowboy   says i will take 2

mexican   walks in
bellboy   asks same question
mexican   replies   señoire   if you sheet on my bed i will keel you

🦆 & 🐘

why do ducks have flat feet
to stomp out burning forest fires

why do elephants have flat feet
to stomp out burning ducks

🦟 & 🐘

a mosquito lands on the back of an elephant and says   am i too heavy for you

🐘

why did the elephant paint his hair yellow
he heard that blondes have more fun

🐘

why did the elephant paint each of his toenails a different color
so he could hide in a bag of jelly beans

🐜 & 🐘

ant sees terrified elephant running through the woods   sweat pouring down his face
and says   what are you running away from

elephant all out of breath says   those hunters are chasing me   they are trying to kill me

ant says   quick quick    hide behind me

🐜 & 🐘

an elephant was struggling to lift a massive fallen log out 
of the path   he was huffing   puffing   and sweating buckets

the ant walked up   put one tiny hand on the log   and said   
move over   big guy   i got this

the elephant stepped back   confused   as the ant pushed with 
all his might   and the log did not budge a millimeter

the ant looked up at the elephant and whispered   okay   i have 
loosened it for you   you take it from here

🐜 & 🐘

an elephant is walking through the jungle when he accidentally steps on an ant hill
thousands of ants come pouring out   absolutely furious   they swarm up the elephants
legs   over his back   and onto his head   biting and stinging everywhere they can

the elephant   unbothered by the tiny tickles   simply gives himself a massive violent shake

whoosh   every single ant goes flying off into the bushes except for one
one lone   gritty ant is still clinging onto the elephants neck   right under his chin   
holding on for dear life

from the ground   the thousands of fallen ants look up and start screaming at the top of 
their lungs  choke him   choke him   choke him

🐔 🐤 🐤 🐤 🐤

what did the hen say when she saw scrambled eggs
my children are all mixed up

🥬

what is green and sings
elvis parsely

why was the beach wet   because the sea weed